


Five Times Niall's Claustrophobia Got the Best of Him

by Coffeeteanves



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon, Claustrophobia, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, OT5, Panic Attacks, Poor Niall, The boys love Niall, Touring, Unconsciousness, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24102028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffeeteanves/pseuds/Coffeeteanves
Summary: The icy chills run down his spine and he has to work to control his breathing as he visualized the moment that he discovered his greatest fear. Just like that, he is no longer on the bus in the safety of his bandmates and brothers, he is transported to that dark time. He hears someone talking to him, but nothing is registering except his heart beating all too fast in his chest.At the beginning of their careers, Niall shares about his struggle with claustrophobia and the boys promise to protect him. Sometimes they are there and sometimes they aren't.This is a five times writing prompt.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter 1

The icy chills run down his spine and he has to work to control his breathing as he visualized the moment that he discovered his greatest fear. Just like that, he is no longer on the bus in the safety of his bandmates and brothers, he is transported to that dark time. He hears someone talking to him, but nothing is registering except his heart beating all too fast in his chest. 

“Niall, earth to Niall. You okay?” Liam says snapping in front of Niall’s face. 

“I think he is panicking, we need to control his breathing,” Zayn says. 

Finally, Niall can focus on the face in front of him and he realizes he is leaning against another person with their hand over his chest. He feels their warmth and he begins to feel calmer. 

“There you go, relax your breathing to mine, you can do it,” Louis says while Harry grips his hands, grounding him. 

“Ni, what do you feel?” Harry asks. 

Niall answers. 

“Good, good, what do you see?” Harry quietly asks. 

Niall responds again. 

“Okay, what do you hear?” Harry questions. 

“Um, the bus moving and the bumps in the road. I hear music,” Niall responds. 

“Are you good?” Niall hears Liam asks. 

“Yeah, I think so. Sorry about that,” Niall ekes out. 

He goes to move, but Louis holds him tighter and whispers to him to stay a minute.

Niall leans his head back and closes his eyes, exhausted all of a sudden and somewhat confused. He knows the boys are having a silent conversation around him, but he can’t care at the moment. 

“Haz, how’d you know to do that?” Louis asks. 

“My mate had panic attacks, it’s how I talked him down,” Harry responded. 

“Ni, are you good now? Can you tell us what happened?” Harry asks in his soothing voice. 

Niall opens his eyes and see his best mates, his brothers looking at him with concern and love and he knows he owes them an explanation, but he doesn’t quite remember what brought him to this reaction. 

“Um, what were we talking about?” Niall asks as he moves away from Louis. He immediately feels a chill and sees Zayn grab a blanket and put it around his shoulders. 

“We were talking about our biggest fears, Harry’s is snakes, mine is spoons, and it was your turn, then we lost you for a moment,” Liam explains. 

“Um, mine is claustrophobia, it’s like really bad and it made me remember something. Sorry I freaked out, I didn’t mean too,” Niall says sheepishly. 

“We get it mate. Do you want to talk about what happened, what made you discover you had this?” Louis says as he rubs his hand up and down Niall’s arm.

Niall vehemently shakes his head. 

“Okay, that’s a no. What can we do to help?” Zayn asks. 

“I just get really scared; I feel like this pressure on my chest is suffocating me. When it gets really bad, I pass out or throw up. Crowds, tight spaces, when the air feels suffocating, those trigger me,” Niall says. 

“Well, we can help with that. Crowds may be an issue, but we’ll protect you Niallers, that’s what family does,” Louis says and the other boys agree. 

Niall releases a large breath, not realizing he was holding it and feels a huge sense of relief. He thought they would make fun of him, but he should know better. His insecurity was getting the best of him. 

“Thanks, really,” Niall says, offering the boys a shaky smile. 

“Well, now that is out of the way, Zayn, what’s your biggest fear?” Louis asks. 

The rest of the night goes like that. None of the boys bring up Niall’s panic attack and he is incredibly grateful.


	2. Chapter 2

Things go on normally, well as normal as things can go for the biggest boyband in the world. The boys are growing closer and more protective of one another and other than an occasionally cold or sore throat, the tour is going as planned. 

After one concert the boys are looking forward to staying in a hotel after being on the bus for two weeks straight. A large bed to stretch out in and shower or bath if they want it, they were ready. They were running behind schedule so they didn’t get to check in before the concert so when they pull up, Niall sees what he calls ‘an old beauty.’ It is an older, but completely remodeled hotel. He loves the nostalgic feel it has and the old school charm, at least until he finds himself in the elevator. Niall is not even really paying attention, looking at his phone when he walks inside, he turns around and looks up just as the door slides shut a cold chill goes down his back. 

“Wait, stop!” is all he gets out. 

“What, Niallers, what you making on about?” Louis asks. 

Niall looks around and realizes that the elevator is incredibly small, smaller than normal size and there is only room for two, maybe three people, but with their suitcases and bodyguard, Paddy, it is tight. 

Niall grabs Louis’s hand, “It’s so tight in here,” Niall rasps out. 

It takes a moment for recognition to dawn on Louis’s face, but he immediately realizes the issue. He turns to Niall and cups his hands-on Niall’s face. 

“Look at me Niall. Eyes on me. There you go. Okay, match your breathing to mine,” Louis says not breaking eye contact with Niall. He places Niall’s hand on his chest and takes deep breaths trying to get Niall to match him. 

Niall feels Louis’s hands and appreciates Louis so much at that moment that he gets it and is trying to help. 

Paddy is watching and tries to speak, but Louis shakes his head subtlety, not breaking eye contact. Louis notices Niall’s eyes are blown as Louis continues to mutter calming words to him, but Niall’s breathing is speeding up and he is making a soft mewling sound.

Niall is trying to match his breathing with Lou’s, he really is, but all he hears are the cranks and pulleys of the elevator along with the jerks it is making as it climbs. Each new noise settles on him. He hates old hotels, hates them, he decides. 

Louis is wishing the piece of shit elevator would go faster, he is getting scared that he can’t calm Niall down. It is not helping, that the elevator is shaking. Just then, two things happen at once. 

Niall is realizing that he can’t hear the elevator anymore and he can’t see Lou’s face. He blinks to try to focus, but there’s spots and then blackness coming across his vision and then nothing. 

The elevator door opens when Niall’s legs give out. Louis yells for Paddy as he tries to catch Niall and keep him from falling to the floor. 

Paddy swoops Niall up in his arms and they step out, Louis grabbing their bags and checking to see if Niall is breathing. 

“I think he is just passed out, where do we want to take him?” Paddy asks. 

Louis heads towards his room and gets his key out, just as the other elevator opens and he hears the boys yell in alarm at the sight in front of them. Louis and Paddy ignore them as Louis quickly opens the door and lets Paddy by, following him as he lays Niall down on the bed. 

Louis checks Niall’s breathing and hears his quick breaths and sees the sheen of sweat on his forehead. 

“Get a wet flannel, Paddy,” Louis commands. 

The boys pile into the room, taking in the scene and Paul finally asks what happened. 

“It’s his claustrophobia, the elevator set him off. He fainted when we got to our floor,” Louis explains. 

The boys are standing around the bed, their eyes wide in concern. 

Paddy brings over the flannel, and Louis is sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his hand through Niall’s hair, whispering calming words to try to wake him up. He places the flannel on his forehead, watching Niall closely for any sign of waking up. 

Louis finally turns to the boys and his shoulders slump releasing the tension that he has been carrying. He has no idea how long it’s been since they walked in the elevator, but it feels like ages to him. 

“Fuck me, that was awful,” he says as Zayn walks over and puts his arm around Louis. 

“You okay, mate?” Zayn asks. 

“Yeah, but I think he knocked a couple of years off my life,” Louis responds. 

“Should we call someone, a doctor? He’s not waking up,” Harry asks. 

“No, we need to make him comfortable if he didn’t hurt himself, he should be fine. Ya’ know him, he is going to be more embarrassed than anything else,” Liam says. 

Zayn takes off Niall’s shoes and grabs a throw to pull over Niall because he is shaking slightly. 

“We promised him we would take care of him and we promised each other we would protect him, I’m not leaving him alone tonight,” Louis says. The other boys agree and grab their bags. 

Louis has not left Niall’s side and Paul and Paddy agree to head out, but only with the promise that they text Paul an update. 

“Pads, thank you, really, for being there,” Louis says. 

“You did everything Lou, I just provided the muscle at the end,” Paddy returns and he and Paul head out. 

“I didn’t even think about the elevator when we got in there, god that must’ve been awful for him,” Harry says.

“It was, he didn’t even realize it until he looked up. I know one thing is for sure, he will not be using that again while we stay here,” Louis says. 

“Lou, why don’t you shower first and we will watch him, I’ll order some food for us too,” Liam suggests. 

With one long look at Niall, Louis agrees knowing they all need to shower. The boys wouldn’t be getting their relaxing hotel stay after all. 

Louis takes a quick shower, Harry and Zayn followed, while Liam keeps replacing the flannel on Niall’s forehead becoming more concerned that he hasn’t woken up. 

Once they are clean and in their pjs, the boys are all sitting on the bed surrounding Niall, watching his chest rise and fall when they hear “Are ya’ all sacrificing me or s’thing?”

Their heads whip up to Niall’s face seeing his slight smile and a look of confusion. 

“Hey mate, you kind of passed out in the elevator after the concert. Been out of it for a bit,” Louis informs him. 

Niall looks confused but then a look of recognition on his face, “You were there Lou, you helped me.” Louis nods smiling that he remembers. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen, it was so small ya’ know?” Niall says. 

“It’s all good mate, it was tight for me too. How are ya’ feelin’?” Louis asks. 

“Good, I think, really tired though, like my brain is foggy,” he says while trying to sit up. Harry, the closest, helps him and give him some water. “Just want to change and go back to sleep if ya’ don’t mind.” 

Zayn helped Niall change and gets him ready for bed. His soft snores could be heard almost immediately after he lays down. Reassured, that Ni is okay, the boys climbed into their respective beds, Louis sharing with Niall. When he was pulling the covers 0ver them, no one laughed when Niall mumbled “No Lou, I’m taking the stairs.” 

“Sure, Ni, whatever you say,” Louis responds.


	3. Chapter 3

Niall was not thrilled to be sitting in the far back driver’s side of the van they were in. He likes to be right next to the door if he had his choice. They weren’t going far so he thought if he closed his eyes and didn’t focus, he would be fine. 

He was wrong. 

Niall made it a bit with his eyes closed, but then he noticed that the air was really heavy. He was trying to take deep breaths and distract himself with the conversation going on around him, but it wasn’t working. 

He pulled at his collar, feeling how itchy his clothes were all of a sudden and then he started to sweat. He checked the air vents above his head and barely felt any air. 

“Hey, Paul, can you put the air on please, there’s nothing coming through the vents back here?” Niall asks.

Paul nods and messes with the controls while Niall is doing his best to stay calm. He is holding his hand up to the vent sighing with relief when he feels more air come out and air circulating again. Niall concentrates on his breathing and doesn’t say anything, just willing the van to get to the studio faster. 

About 15 minutes later, Niall starts to feel the same way again and holds his hand up to the vent. Nothing is coming out. 

“Paul, did you mess with the A/C again, there is no air?” Niall asks. 

Paul fiddles with the controls again and Niall sees him move the fan to high and low and nothing comes out of the vents.

“I think its broken, Ni. Nothing is working,” Paul says. 

“It’s all good Ni, we are almost there,” Liam says and goes to put his arm around Niall to comfort him. 

That is the last thing Niall wants, and he immediately feels the icy cold tingling down his back and hands. He looks at the van windows to see if they open, but they are not in one that does. That is when he starts to look around without causing too much attention trying to figure out what he is going to do. 

The air is growing increasingly thick and no one else seems to notice anything. Niall’s stomach is not feeling so great and he feels waves of nausea roll over him. 

“Li, I need us to pull over,” Niall says quietly trying to quell what he is feeling. 

“Ni, we are almost there, can you wait?” Liam asks. 

Niall hears what Liam is saying, but his body is not agreeing. He feels sweaty, the air is not moving and he his mouth is starting to feel like cotton. He grabs Liam’s arm and squeezes trying to communicate so much in that moment, that he needs them to stop the van. 

“Niall, what are . . .” Liam’s voice cuts off as he looks at Niall and takes in his paler than normal sweaty face and his eyes, wide open, expressing his discomfort. He sees Niall swallow and then it hits him. 

“Are you feeling claustrophobic?” Liam asks a little too loudly and the other boys turn around and take notice of Niall. 

Niall nods and whispers again, “please, please pull over. I’m not going to make it.” 

“Paddy, pull over,” Harry calls out realizes what is going on. 

“What, why?” Paddy asks and Paul turns around. He takes in the scene and sees the boys looking at Niall. 

Niall is using all the self-control he has, but the van is not slowing down. He is miserable and he is keeping his mouth closed, but he is getting to the point where he feels like he can’t get enough air through his nose. He looks up and tries to communicate with his eyes. 

It must work because Louis yells, “Paddy, pull the fookin’ car over right now!” 

“Hold on Niall, just a bit longer,” Harry says trying to calm the Irishman.

Niall feels the van slow down and pull off the side and he is already climbing over Liam, then Zayn and Louis to get to the door, not sure he can make it. He is sure he kicks someone, but he doesn’t care. The van isn’t even stopped yet, and he is fighting with the latch and all but falls out when the door opens. 

The next thing he knows, his hands are on his knees and he is emptying the contents of his stomach on the side of the road. Someone is standing next to him rubbing his back. He wants to tell them to stop, but he can’t stop throwing up. 

Finally, he thinks he is done and he attempts to stand up, but lands on his ass. 

“Whoa!”

“Niall!”

“Shit!”

“Catch him!”

All the boys are speaking at once, but Niall is laying on his back on the ground with his eyes closed. He feels the rocks and stones dig into his back, but he doesn’t care at this point. He is focusing on taking in deep breaths, filling his lungs with the fresh air, thankful for the slight breeze cooling his face. 

“Niall, are you awake?” Paul asks. 

He feels someone lift his wrist, probably checking his pulse and he hears the shuffle of feet around him. Once Niall knows he is settled, he opens his eyes, now bloodshot from everything and he tries to sit up. 

“No, no stay down a second, your pulse is racing,” Paul says. 

Niall looks up and sees the boys around him with concerned faces. 

“I’m good, I’m good, help me up,” he says as he stands up with Zayn and Liam on either side bracing him. “Water?” 

Someone gives him a bottle of water and he rinses his mouth out and then looks up at everyone. They are all watching him closely. 

“Umm, sorry guys,” Niall says while rubbing his head. “I don’t do so well sitting in the far back especially when there is no air.”

“You don’t say,” Louis says sarcastically. 

“Duly noted, from now on you sit in the front or by the door,” Liam says. 

“I’d appreciate it, now don’t we need to be somewhere?” Niall asks. 

They help him up and when they go to the van, Paul points him to the direction of the front seat, Niall turns and gives him a thankful smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Niall’s fear doesn’t rear his ugly head again until they are playing in an older venue. After performing in so many places, he becomes lost sometimes trying to find his way around the maze behind the stage.

He is coming back from catering to do his last-minute routine before they go on. Realizing he is turned around after walking a lot longer than he did to get there, he asks one of the arena employees which way to the dressing room. 

“It’s on the other side of the arena, cut through that room there and it will save you some steps. It’s a shortcut only the workers know about,” the man says. 

Niall thanks him and does just that. Or he thinks he does just that. Niall sees a door cracked open and realizes it’s heavier than it looks, he peeks in and sees a wide corridor heading the right direction. Figuring that is the shortcut he goes on in. 

He jumps when he hears the door make a loud bang when it closes. Feeling uneasy, he decides to leave the way he came and just retrace his steps, but when he tries the door, its locked. 

“Oh, come on!” he shouts as he bangs on the door. There is only one way to go, so he starts walking. After walking about 15 meters, he realizes that he can’t hear anything but his footfalls, not even the fans’ screams. Niall starts walking faster when he hears a clanking noise coming from behind him. He turns to see a large metal door descending.

“What the fuck?” Niall yells as he starts seeing a door ahead of him descending. He starts running trying to get on the other side thinking he must be getting pranked or this is a dream. Niall ends up sliding under the second door as it descends and he sees the door on the other side finally. Breathing fast, and trying not to think about what just happened, he figures he has a funny story to tell the boys later. When he goes to open the door only to find it’s locked, his heart drops. 

Checking his watch, Liam looks around and sees the boys completing their final rituals before show time. “Where’s the Irish one?” he asks. 

The boys look around and at each other, thinking back to where they had seen Niall. They are always together in some way, so they don’t think much about one missing because they are always there for showtimes. 

Zayn goes to the bathroom and calls out for Niall and gets no response. 

Louis pokes his head outside the dressing room and talks with Paddy, who tells him that Niall isn’t out there. 

“Who was the last person to see him?” Harry asks.

“He was with me in catering, but he left before me to get ready,” Zayn said. 

“When was that?” Liam asks. 

“Umm, about 40 minutes ago, maybe,” Zayn said. 

“Text him,” Louis says. 

Harry pulls out his phone and then they hear the sound of Niall’s phone dinging from the couch. Zayn walks over, moving a pile of stuff and holds Niall’s phone up. 

They look at each other, communicating silently; caught in the middle of concern, but not knowing if they should be. Niall is the most responsible of all of them, always early, prepared and professional. 

The boys jump when they hear the knock on the door to let them know they have 15 minutes until showtime. “Should we give it five more minutes?” Harry asks. 

“I think we need to tell Paddy, that way he can radio to see if anyone has seen him. It’s Niall, he will show up, he always does,” Liam responds, heading towards the door. 

The other boys aren’t too sure, Niall doesn’t really cut it this close. 

“Hey Paddy, Niall isn’t with us, do you think you could radio if anyone has seen him?” 

Liam stands there, listening to the radio conversation and his heart sinks a little bit when everyone responds that they haven’t. “Should I be concerned?” comes over the radio as the other boys walk out to get mic’ed up. 

Paddy looks at Liam questioning because this is Paul and they don’t want him to worry. 

Liam holds out his hand for the radio and says “Paul, no one has seen Niall for the last 40 minutes, this isn’t like him, um, we are becoming concerned.”

“Go to sound and I will check if he is over by the stage and meet you there,” Paul responds. 

They boys do what they are told, but there is an uneasiness about them that no one wants to recognize. This is not like Niall at all and it only leads them to one conclusion, something bad has happened and no one wants say it. 

Paul runs up to them and by the look on his face, he didn’t find Niall. 

“Okay, so no one has seen him around here and he is not by the stage. We know he didn’t leave, so he has to be here somewhere. I’m going to contact security and we are going to split up and look for him,” Paul says. 

“We last saw him in catering, so I would start there,” Zayn says. 

“What about the concert, I don’t want to perform until we know for sure he is okay. I wouldn’t do any good out there,” Harry says. 

The other boys nod in agreement. “We’ll make an announcement that the concert will be delayed,” Paul says. 

The on-site security is notified, as are their own people to come to Paul. The venue’s head of security shows up, looking annoyed once Paul explained the situation.  
“Are you sure he didn’t leave or go off with someone?” the man asks arrogantly. He is used to dealing with artists and has seen just about everything. 

Liam turns to him opening his mouth to say something, but before he does Louis turns to the man, “Now listen, that may be what other artists have done, but not Niall. He is our responsible one, he is on time and he doesn’t miss show times, nor would he head off with a fan, if that is what you are implying. If he is not here, that means something happened that he can’t control and he needs help, so please don’t just act like this is another entitled musician that thinks he runs the place. This is our friend, our brother and he doesn’t wander away, so please, please help us find him.” Louis says with a tone leaving no room for argument. 

The man takes in the other boys, Paul and the bodyguards, realizing from their faces that this was not a normal situation. Nodding he says, “Okay, we will fan out, put some of your people with my people, we will unlock every door and check every corner.”

They do just that and the boys split up too. The worry is creeping in that something could really be wrong. 

Niall looks around, realizing he is in a small room about 15 x 20. Boring walls, cement floor and only two doors, one closed by a metal gate, the other with the handle won’t move, no matter how much Niall jiggles it. He pounds on the door hoping someone will hear him. 

When there is no response, he goes to the gate and looks to see if he can figure out a way to raise it, but can’t find anything. He pats his pockets looking for his phone, cussing himself when he realizes he left it in the dressing room. He has no watch, and has no idea how much time has gone by. 

Niall is doing his best to quell the panic that is rising. Someone has to realize he is missing, right? They need him on the stage, it’s not like someone else can sing his parts and play the guitar. Thoughts are rushing through his head faster than he can register them. Will they fire him? Will the boys be angry with him? The fans, he is letting the fans down. This cannot be happening. 

Any sense of control that Niall had is quickly going out the window. 

He is pounding and yelling, pounding and yelling and with each new shout, Niall starts freaking out more and more. No one is responding. Tears start coming out of his eyes, he is breathing fast and he wants out, no more shortcuts for him. 

Niall doesn’t feel the claustrophobia set it, the room is large enough, but he doesn’t want to be there. Then, as if things can’t get any worse, the lights go out. 

“No, no fuck no!” he shouts while still pounding on the door. He can’t even see the outline of the door, for that matter he can’t see his hand in front of his face. Niall’s breaths start coming faster and faster and he feels like he is choking. His legs lose the ability to hold him up and he turns and faces out towards the room with his back sliding down the door, tears falling freely down his face. He feels his butt hit the ground and it jars him. 

For a moment, he places his hands on either side of him to ground him, attempting to take in deep breaths. His eyes are open, or at least he thinks they are because he can’t tell. Niall tries to talk some sense into himself and remembering what Harry did he tries it – what does he hear? Shit, nothing, nothing at all, but his labored breathing. See, what does he see? – Fuck, nothing, he can’t see anything. Feel? Okay, the cold concrete and the firm wall at his back. 

This is not helping, he bangs his head against the wall, and starts pounding his fists against the door. Losing all sense of time, Niall’s mind gets the best of him. What if the concert is over and they all left, what if I’m here overnight? What if they don’t need him anymore? Any sense of calm he had goes out the window. 

Niall’s breathing is speeding up again, and he keeps knocking his head against the wall. “Please, please someone help me, please,” he all buts begs, crying more, still hitting the door with his fist, with his strength weakening with each hit.

The air is starting to become heavier and he can’t catch his breath. Niall starts clawing at his throat trying to open up an airway, not realizing his nails are scratching his skin until he loses the strength in his arms and they fall slack to the floor. He hears a rushing noise and a faint squealing, not realizing that it is him. White spots appear in front of his eyes, he tries to rub them, but he can’t make his arms move. He feels his body fall over to the side, his head hits hard. He knows he is losing consciousness and that is okay because it will make this nightmare go away. He feels his heart beating so fast and then he welcomes the blackness. 

Search teams have been looking for Niall for over to 30 minutes and still no sign of him. The boys are scared now, their concert was supposed to start 45 minutes ago and if Niall is not there, then that means something bad has happened. They have searched more rooms than they knew the venue had and still nothing. 

From the radio, they know no one has had any luck. Finding themselves back near their dressing room, they have two more doors to check. The security guy opens the door and tries push the door open. 

“What the heck?” he mutters. 

The boys hadn’t really spoken, there was nothing to say, so at the comment, their heads pop up. 

“What is it?” Louis asks. 

“There’s something blocking the door,” he replies trying to push harder. The door opens some more and he shines a flashlight down and the boys all see it at the same time. A telltale sign of a body. A body wearing black jeans, a white shirt exposing a strip of skin on the back. 

The boys exchange glances, knowing that is what Niall wears to perform. 

“Oh my God, get this door open!” Liam shouts joining the security guard and they shove the door open and they pile into the room. 

Lights pop on and there is Niall, unconscious on the floor. The boys are frozen until Liam shouts “Radio that we found him and get an ambulance!” 

They take in Niall, see the blood on the white wall, dried tears, bloody knuckles and bloody scratches on his neck. 

“Was he attacked?” Louis asks. 

“No, I don’t think so, look at his nails,” Zayn says. “There is blood on them, I think he did it to himself.” 

The boys aren’t sure how to process that information, but Harry kneels down by Niall, checking for a pulse. 

“He’s breathing, but its slow, we need an ambulance, now,” Harry says quickly. He checks over Niall, looking for more blood and sees the back of his head is bloodied. 

“I think he hit his head against the wall, its split open,” he says. 

“Niall, Niall, can you hear me mate?” Harry says while shaking him. There is no movement. 

Just then Paul and their security detail rushes in and stops at the sight of Niall on the ground. 

“Holy hell, who did this? Call the police,” Paul says. “And where the hell is the ambulance?” 

Liam gets them caught up quickly. 

Paddy and the other body guards are visually upset. Everyone has a soft spot for Niall and he is wringing his hands, wanting to find out whomever hurt one of his boys and beat them. 

The head of security comes in leading the medics. They push Harry aside and he scurries backwards watching. Louis and Zayn kneel next to him as though the boys gain strength holding onto each other. 

Watching the flurry of activity, Harry hangs his head and prays. Liam watches with alarm as they put an oxygen mask on Niall and assess him. They try to wake him up, but there is no movement. After checking his eyes, he hears the word “concussed.” One returns with a backboard and he watches as they secure him for transport to the hospital. 

Poor Niall, how did this even happen, Liam thinks, as he feels tears on his face. He wipes them away, not realizing that he was crying. 

Two policemen show up and they are talking with Paddy and the head of security. Paul walks up and Liam hears him say, “I don’t care what you have to do, but I want a full investigation, something happened to this boy to put him here and I want to know why. Niall doesn’t wander off.” 

“We will do our best sir,” one of the officers says. 

By now, Niall is on the gurney and Paddy asks what hospital. Liam is thankful, that someone has their wits about them. 

Paul tells Paddy to go with them and he turns to the other boys. He sees four frightened little boys at that moment. None of their world-famous bravado shows, only fear for their mate. He takes a deep breath and says, “Alright, I’m canceling the concert. I need you all to grab your things and we are heading to the hospital; someone pick up Niall’s stuff too. Change into something comfortable as well. I think this is going to be a long night.” 

They all nod and Louis pulls Harry off the ground, giving him a reassuring hug and the boys silently follow Paul out of the room to head to the hospital. 

Niall wakes up with a start, sitting up immediately, he looks around frantically, nothing is familiar and he screams. People are coming at him, putting their hands on him and he tries to push them off, but is too weak. He feels a prick in his arm and looks down and by the time he looks up, the light is fading quickly and he has lost control of his body before everything goes dark. 

“Mr. Horan, you are in a hospital, we’ve given you something to calm you down. You will be fine,” someone says, but Niall does not register it. 

The doctor comes and updates the boys around midnight; all are relieved when the doctor informed them that Niall would be just fine. 

“He lost consciousness due to a powerful panic attack and had gone through great emotional distress. He had to have stitches on the back of his head, but there is no concussion and they cleaned the scratches on his neck which were superficial,” the doctor explains. 

“Was he attacked?” Paul asked. 

“No, all signs show that he did this to himself. His blood pressure was high when he came in so we believe something triggered him and he injured himself. I plan for him to speak to our psychologist when he wakes up,” the doctor answered. 

“He suffers from extreme claustrophobia and we found him in a locked room with no light. That’s what triggered him. He doesn’t need a fookin’ psychologist,” Louis says with venom in his voice. 

“That may be, but with any self-harm situation it is hospital procedure,” the doctor says. “Now, if you will come with me, I will take you to his room.”

The boys flinch when they hear Niall’s screams coming through the door. The doctor turns to them and tells them to stay there and he runs to Niall’s room along with three nurses following him. Niall’s screams keep coming and the boys look at each other absolutely addled, concern and fear etched on their faces. Then there is silence and the boys all let out a collected breath that they didn’t know they were holding. 

After a few minutes, the doctor returns. He takes in the boys’ appearances and realizes they need reassurance. 

“He is fine, we needed to sedate him so he will be out for some time, but you can come in.”

Niall looks like he is sleeping, but Harry flinches when he sees the scratches on Niall’s neck. Zayn is the first one to move, grabbing a chair and pulling it over, he sits down and grabs Niall’s hand and gives it a squeeze. He pulls it up to his lips and starts speaking quietly, praying. 

Harry looks around for another chair and not seeing one, he tells Liam to come with him and he leaves the room. About a minute later, they come in carrying two chairs each and no one dared to stop them. He sets them around Niall’s bed. They all sit, reaching for Niall in some way, as if they needed to anchor themselves. 

“Paul, have you heard anything from the police, any updates?” Liam asks. 

“Nothing yet, they are interviewing people and watching CCTV is what I heard last.” 

“How did he ever end up in there, it is all so crazy,” Zayn says. 

“I can’t imagine what he went through, his claustrophobia must have been off the charts with the lights off,” Harry says. 

Paul eventually leaves and the boys settle in to watch over Niall. A question in the back of their heads – how did this even happen?

The second time Niall wakes, he hears a quiet beeping and sees light peeking through the closed blinds. Disoriented, he looks around and sees Zayn on one side of him and Harry on the other, both have their hands near his, slackened from both of them being asleep. Louis has his feet up in another chair and he is slumped back, asleep, but a hand is on Niall’s ankle. Liam is slumped over the other side, laying across his other leg. Niall feels safe and loved seeing all of his boys there. He doesn’t want to wake them, but he is confused as he looks side to side. He realizes that is making his head hurt as well and he moves his hand carefully away from Harry to feel what is going on. He feels the tell-tale signs of stitches and it makes him take a in a breath because it hurts. He shuts his eyes and waits for the throbbing to setting down. 

“Ni, you’re awake. You doing okay?” Zayn asks quietly. 

Niall opens his eyes and sees Zayn’s concerned face looking back at him. 

“What happened?” 

“You don’t remember?” 

Niall thinks back and he remembers arriving at the venue for the concert, dressing and eating; everything else a bit foggy. He shakes his head. “Did something happen at the concert?” 

“No luv, we never played the concert,” Harry says softly squeezing Niall’s hand. 

Niall looks at him and then at Louis and Liam, they are all awake now looking at the Irishmen with concern. He is racking his brain, trying to remember. It must not be good if he is in the hospital. 

“How long have I been here?” 

“We brought you in last evening,” Louis says. 

That makes Niall feel better because at least he hasn’t lost a day. “What happened, why am I in the hospital?” 

The boys exchanged looks, debating who was going to tell him. Liam must have won because he gets up and sits on the side of the bed. Zayn and Harry are both holding his hands, Louis is squeezing his ankle and Niall is starting to freak out a little bit. 

“Ni, you didn’t show up when it was showtime and that is when we became concerned because it is not like you,” Liam softly says. “We had three search parties looking for you at the venue and we found you unconscious and bleeding in a locked room with no light. It had been close to two hours since anyone had seen you.”

Niall just looks at him dumbfounded. He has no recollection of any of this. 

“Ni, we think you were attacked, do you remember seeing anyone? Your head was a bit bloodied and your neck was scratched,” Louis says. 

“No . . ., no . . ., I remember eating and I left to come back and get ready, I remember, I wanted to brush my teeth and fix something on my guitar. I was walking back and I got lost . . .” Niall trails off, his face scrunched up in concentration. 

Seeing Niall starting to get upset, Harry calms him. “Hey, listen the important thing is we found you and you are okay now. The police are investigating and we’ll figure it out. How are you feeling now?” 

“Just a little groggy and my head hurts a bit, but I’m ready to leave,” Niall responds. 

The boys exchange glances, they are all thinking about what the doctor said and they know Niall is not going to be happy. “Let’s see what the doctor says, he was concerned about your head,” Louis says and the boys look at him with a knowing glance, but Niall doesn’t see. 

They sit a talk a bit, Niall, thanking them for staying with him and Liam texts Paul, that Niall is awake. Pretty soon, Niall starts to feel really drowsy and the boys keep talking, noticing, but letting Niall’s body do what it needs to do. 

When Niall is out again, Liam says, “I’m concerned that he can’t remember. That’s what the brain does when something traumatic happens.”

“Maybe, but we just need to make sure we are supportive of him whenever he does,” Zayn counters and the boys all nod their heads. 

Paul texts Liam back and says he is headed over to the hospital and the boys decided to go dig up some breakfast while they wait for Paul and the doctor. Harry wants to stay with Niall.

Once the boys leave, Harry looks at Niall, squeezing his hand. “What happened to you Ni?” he whispers.

The doctor and Paul arrive at the same time and Niall is still sleeping. The boys fill them in on what Niall said when he woke up. 

While the doctor is examining Niall, Paul tells them that the police were able to watch CCTV and see Niall go into an airlock. The boys look at him in surprise because that doesn’t sound like Niall and they say as much. 

Paul explains that Niall was turned around leaving dinner and went down the wrong hallway; he asked one of the employees for directions to get back to the dressing room and the man pointed out a short cut according to the police interview. Niall took the shortcut, but on the video, another employee came and locked down the corridor causing the air locks to initiate. It was so soon after Niall went it that two sets of metal doors were coming down and we think he had to run to get to the other side. The only problem was another employee had come and locked that door, so when he got there he couldn’t get out. To make matters worse, once the area is locked, the lights go out shortly afterward. It was all coincidence, but in hindsight, the worker should have told Niall to stay to the main corridors. 

“If we hadn’t been looking for him, he may not have been found for quite some time. He is really lucky,” Paul says. 

“What the actual fuck? He could have died.” Louis exclaims. “I hope someone is being held responsible.”

“It’s being handled,” Paul said.

“It was his claustrophobia; he had a severe panic attack. Oh my god, Niall, how awful and he was all alone,” Harry says rubbing Niall’s arm. 

The doctor has been listening to Paul and confirms that it is very likely that is what happened. 

“He won’t need to see a shrink, will he?” Liam asks. 

“No, but you need to be prepared for when he remembers because he is going to need lots of support.”

“That will not be a problem,” Zayn says. 

“I need to wake Niall up now to finish my examination and then I will discharge him. He needs to be off for two days, no concerts, no performing, keep things mellow,” the doctor informs them. 

“We can definitely do that,” Louis says. 

“Ni, hey mate, wake up, we want to blow this joint,” Harry says. 

Niall opens his eyes, squinting at the bright sun and sees Paul and the doctor are also in his room. The doctor checks him over and Niall is relieved that he be released, but he still doesn’t know what happened and says as much. 

Zayn recounts Paul’s story and Niall listens, but still doesn’t recall anything. They count it as a blessing for now. 

If at the next venue, Niall had his own entourage of the boys and guards, no one says anything, least of all Niall.


	5. Chapter 5

Crowds. Paparazzi. Fans. Flashing lights. Shutter clicks. Screaming. 

Niall was beginning to hate all of it, not during concerts, but whenever they tried to go out somewhere. He has completely lost his anonymity and it is starting to take his toll. He feels trapped in his hotel sometimes when all he wants to do is go out and explore, but that is not an option. Nor is it a way to live. 

Don’t get him wrong, he loves that he is living his dream, but it is not without consequence. And these are the consequences. 

The constant crush of people whenever they are in public. For the most part, the boys pull him through, Paddy and the other guards surround. But on this day, someone leaked where they were, the fences didn’t contain the fans, and with a roar they came crashing down and they were surrounded. The paps reached them first and they were instantly swarmed. 

Niall braced his body for the onslaught, the other four boys protecting him surround him to help. Louis and Liam yelling at the paps to give them space. No one listened. Niall hears the other boys yelling, Paul screaming, and Paddy growling along with the other body guards. 

For Niall, it all happens in slow motion. He closes his eyes, feeling so many hands on him and the press of the boys’ bodies against him. The cacophony of yells, shutter clicks and flashing lights are wrecking his nerves and he feels the tell-tale sign of a panic attack forming. 

He opens his eyes and sees Harry looking down at him, just as afraid as he is and then they are jostled again and Niall is shot out of the protective circle. People are grabbing at him and he is asking them to please stop, panic is rising in his throat, pressure building in his chest, but he takes a breath and pushes it down. He is trying to get the rational part of his brain to overcome the irrational and act. Niall knows he needs to make it to the car and he will be fine; the boys and him can complain then. 

All of sudden, he is shoved hard and he feels himself falling forward, but his arms are trapped behind him. Niall sees the ground coming fast towards his face and he knows its going to hurt. He turns his head at the last minute and then it all goes black. 

Paul finally closes the door of the van and looks at the boys, what he sees in their eyes does not make him happy and he has a bone to pick with management for leaking where they are because this is becoming too dangerous. Each boy is looking at him with a bit of fear and in Louis all he sees is unbridled anger. What he doesn’t see is Niall and Louis lets him know as well. 

“Where is Niall?” Louis asks angrily.

That snaps the other boys out of their trance and they look around. They were composing their own selves, that they hadn’t looked at their mates. 

“Oh shit!’ Paul says. He thought they all got all of them.

“Niall got separated from me right before you pulled me out, that direction,” Harry says pointing. 

Paul jumps out of the car, and signals the other guards, signing they are missing Niall, pointing where Harry told him. He sees the reaction on their faces as well, fear. Paul jumps back in the car and while the other guards fan out and tells the driver to pull forward to draw the crowd away, hopeful that they will find Niall in the mess. 

Harry and Zayn look at each other knowingly and start to think the worse. 

“His claustrophobia must be through the roof, this is a feckin’ mess,” Zayn says.

All Harry can do is nod, fear and guilt evident in his face. 

The boys were so focused on the right side of the van, that they jump when the left side is opened and there is Jeff carrying an unconscious Niall. 

Concerned exclamations came from the boys and Paul stares worryingly. 

“Take him, quickly, found him on the ground, people were stepping on him. I’ll follow in the other car,” Jeff says quickly before closing the door quickly. 

Paul tells the driver to head towards the nearest hospital as he turns around and sees Niall cradled in Liam’s arms like a baby. 

Niall has scraps, cuts, and bruises on his arms and face, a large cut with a bruise forming under his brow, but he is breathing. 

“Niall, Ni, can you hear me, come wake up,” Liam says. 

Zayn is squeezing Niall’s hand hoping to get a response, but the poor boy is just lying there pale and broken. 

“When this is over and he is okay, we are having a meeting about leaking where we are to the paps. This will never happen again,” Louis says vehemently. 

Harry leans over Liam and rubs Niall’s sternum, hoping to get a response. It does the trick because they hear Niall groan and his eyes flutter open. 

Niall feels the pain in his chest first, then all over his body and a groan escapes his lips. He doesn’t want to open his eyes, but he knows someone is holding him and he hopes it isn’t a fan. 

“Ni, can you hear me?” Liam asks. 

Relief washes over him when he hears it is Liam and sees him looking down at him with concern across his face. 

Zayn is squeezing Niall’s leg and both Harry and Louis are leaning over Liam’s shoulders. 

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t hold onto you, I tried,” Harry says apologetically. 

It’s all a little too much for Niall, like his body knows he is safe so his eyes don’t want to stay open. His whole body is on fire and his head really hurts. 

“No, Niall, stay awake, please, please don’t close your eyes,” Liam begs. 

Niall really doesn’t want to listen to Liam, but he sounds so frightened and Niall doesn’t like that, so he opens his eyes again with a groan. 

“What hurts?” Louis asks.

Right then, Niall is staring at Liam. Keeping focused is helping him stay awake. 

“Ni, can you tell us what hurts?” Liam asks. 

Niall doesn’t trust his voice, so he points to his head. “Your head hurts?” Liam asks. 

All Niall does is blink his eyes, hoping they get it. “That’s a yes,” Louis says. 

“Anything else luv?” Liam asks again. 

Niall puts his arm around his stomach where he feels a lot of pain radiating. 

“Probably broke a few ribs,” Zayn offers. 

“Keep looking at him Li, it seems to be helping him stay awake,” Paul says. 

Niall was trying to keep his eyes open, he really was, but it was easier to close them, so he did. Then he felt Liam shake him and Louis speaking. Words weren’t registering but he heard a few, “ass, kill you meself, dye your hair.” Niall knew by the tone that it was a scared Louis speaking. He forces his eyes to open and looks at Louis, noticing tears and he hates that he is the cause of it. Niall lefts his arm to brush them away, but Zayn grabs it and holds on. 

Niall is trapped in a dream like state of pain and exhaustion, Liam keeps rubbing his face and telling him he is a good boy for staying awake and he can rest when they get to the hospital. When they arrive, Paul jumps out, telling the boys to wait a minute. He returns quickly with hospital staff and a gurney. 

Liam carefully places Niall down whispering to him to not close his eyes. Niall is confused for a moment because he said he could close them when they arrive and it was becoming harder to stay awake. At that point, Niall didn’t care anymore and lets himself sink into the darkness.

Medical personnel start yelling, noticing Niall is unconscious and they whisk him away. The boys waste no time jumping out and following Paul inside.

The boys, Paddy, Paul and other guards have been moved to a private waiting room and the mood varies from anger to fear to concern. Paul knows that they are going to be having a meeting with management and soon. He has already called them and told them what is going on and to cancel their appearances for this evening and the next day. The concert in two days is also questionable. 

“I don’t know how much of this Niall can take. At what point is he going to say he is done?” Zayn asks. 

“Let’s not talk about what ifs, it will do us no good,” Harry says putting a reassuring hand on Zayn. 

Liam sits there in a state of shock realizing he has Niall’s blood on his hands. “You did good Li, let’s go wash this ya’?” Harry says looking at his mate. 

After what seems like ages, the doctor shows up and they all stand. He nods at them and the men are holding bated breaths.

“Mr. Horan is fine. He has a concussion and bruised ribs. Nothing is broken, all things considered. We have bandaged him up and he is resting right now, but we are monitoring his concussion by waking him up every couple of hours.” 

Everyone lets out a relieved breath and the doctor tells them to follow him to Niall’s room. They know that this could have been worse, that Ni got off lucky. 

Seeing Niall in the bed, looking way to pale is alarming for the boys. They take up posts as if they are guard dogs, only this time they are sad they didn’t protect him. 

The doctor comes in two hours later and wakes Niall up, asking him questions. He doesn’t have any recollection as to why he is there and when he sees the boys he asks when they have to leave for the concert.

“There is no concert, Ni, today we traveled,” Harry says. 

“No, we perform at the O2 tonight,” Niall says. 

“That was two nights ago, luv,” Zayn says. 

Niall thinks over that information, but doesn’t get very far and slowly drifts off to sleep. The boys look at the doctor in alarm. 

“Don’t be scared that is normal that he doesn’t remember the last couple days. The fact that we woke him up so easily means he is on the mend. I will be back in two hours to do another check,” the doctor says. 

The boys make themselves comfortable and Louis and Zayn go and get food for them from the cafeteria. 

Alone, Harry looks at Liam seeing Niall’s blood still on his shirt, “You good mate?” 

“Yeah, that was just scary and completely avoidable. I don’t think I’ll get the image of Niall’s eyes out of my head for a bit.” 

“You did great keeping him awake, we were all scared.”

“Why does it keep happening to him though? I hate this.” 

“We all do, we just have to do better and speak with management as well. Give them an ultimatum about leaking our whereabouts to the press and we need more security.” 

Liam nods and the boys resume their vigil. As the night wore on, Niall continues to not remember what happened, but he sounds better each time. It was a rough night for everyone, and no one really slept. 

Niall looks at his surroundings and recognizes that he must be in a hospital and by the light coming in, he thinks it is morning. He sees the boys passed out around the room sleeping. He is not sure why he is there, but he feels the bandage on his head and his ribs are wrapped. 

Niall huffs out a frustrated breath trying to think back, he knows they had a concert and then flew out the next morning to New York, he remembers the fans and a rush of the crowd, but things are a bit vague after that and it starts to hurt his head if he thinks too hard. He looks over to see Harry sleeping closest to him. 

“Haz, Haz, wake up,” Niall whisper yells.

“What, whoa, Niall, you’re awake! How r’ ya’ feelin?” Harry asks loud enough that the other boys start sitting up noticing what is going on. 

“What ‘appened?” Niall asks. “I remember we were at the airport, but not much after.”

The boys exchange a glance knowing that this is more than Niall has remembered before. 

Harry explains and Niall’s eyes get bigger as he remembers more. Louis starts cussing and complaining about management and Liam fills in what happens in the van. That is one part that Niall is vague on and probably will be. 

“Was it your claustrophobia? Liam asks. 

Niall looks at him a moment before responding, “No, it was at first, but I was controlling it and was looking around for help until something hit me in the back of the head. Then I remember falling and my arms were caught behind me.”

The boys are looking at him stunned. “I felt it try to take over, but I fought it. I didn’t want to worry you all,” Niall tells them. 

“Ah, Niall, proud of you mate, that’s huge; but we still were worried,” Louis says with a smile. 

“At least it is getting better,” Liam offers. 

“Yeah, so when can I blow this joint?” Niall asks. 

That’s when the boys knew Niall was going to be okay, and if they watched him a little more, no one said anything.


End file.
